Ask Me His Name by Elle Wright

Elle is the lovely owner of the Feathering the Empty nest Instagram account and blog. (@feathering_the_empty_nest)
I have followed Elle for some time on Instagram, after she popped up on the Interests/for you page, my first thoughts were that she looked rather lovely and I really enjoyed the pictures she was sharing of her home and her pug Boris, then I discovered that Elle was a mother, only Elle didn’t get to take her baby home once he was born. Elle’s beautiful boy Teddy had died three days after being born, she had gone through what most of us would simply describe as the worst thing a person could ever go through. I looked at this woman in absolute awe, here she was living life. She was making her home beautiful, she was talking to people, walking Boris, living her life. All the things I couldn’t seem to to do because I was still struggling to come to terms with the fact I had miscarried my first pregnancy. I was struggling, really struggling with my mental health, I became secluded, cut myself off, didn’t want to deal with the world. I looked at Elle and thought, if she can still do life, then so can I. As corny as it is sounds Elle was an inspiration, I admired her strength and the fact that she seemed to grab life with both hands and carry on. Elle carried her baby, gave birth to her baby, held her baby and then she had to say goodbye to her baby and go home without him, if she could get through all of that, then I could definitely get through this.

Following Elle meant that I became aware of her book once she made it public on Instagram. Immediately I knew I wanted to read it, I knew instantly I would cry, however that’s really stating the obvious for me as I cry at tv adverts and all sorts these days. I was really interested to see how Elle would tell the story as undoubtedly this is a very hard story to tell, but Elle doesn’t seem the type to be full of sadness, Elle has a sense of humour I really quite like, although it has been misinterpreted a few times on Instagram, I was really intrigued to see if that humour could and would be present in the book.

I ordered the book on Google Play books as I am seriously running out of space on my book shelves and I wanted it immediately, I began reading and believe me when I tell you I was hooked almost instantly. I ended up reading the book within 24hrs, something I have never done before. Reading the book felt like Elle was sat there telling me the words herself, it’s written in the same style as Elle speaks, I have always watched her Instagram stories so you get to know how people speak and you even get to see certain mannerisms. Nothing about it felt forced or structured, just a very real account from a very real person.
It’s really hard to try and do Elle justice with a review, I feel like you need to read the book and feel it all for yourself, because other people’s words will never do. For me the book provoked way more emotion than thought, so really it’s hard to find the words to describe it, when you read this book there isn’t much to think about because you feel like you’re almost there. It’s all given to you, there is no guessing or imagining. Elle describes everything really well and I don’t think that it’s being a mother myself that made me feel it all the more, I believe she would make anyone feel the same way. She made me laugh, she made me cry (a hell of a lot! the really snotty, blotchy face and you’re really exhausted afterwards, kind of cry) she made me smile and honestly she warmed my heart. That’s what this is, it’s heartwarming. Yes it’s sad but my goodness it’s so uplifting and I don’t know how she’s done it but she has written an absolutely beautiful account of Teddy’s life and her own life after she had to say goodbye to him.

Having read the book within 24hrs meant that I stayed awake seriously late reading it and at 2am I chose to get out of bed, walk down the hallway to my toddlers room, creep in and just look at her, I stroked her hair and just watched her sleep. Any sane parent would never risk waking their toddler at 2am but Elle’s words are so full of love that she really made me just want to take a moment to appreciate what I have, even if it means waking a toddler and spending the next few hours trying to get her to go back to sleep!

It’s a strange concept to feel proud of someone you have never met but that’s how I felt after reading Ask Me His Name. I felt proud of Elle for carrying on, I felt proud of her for talking about Teddy and embracing his life, no matter how short it may have been. As a parent myself now I also couldn’t help but think of Elle’s mum, she has watched her daughter go through something so tough and no doubt wanted to just take all her pain away, but she has watched her daughter carry on, work through everything and become who she is today and that must make her want to absolutely burst with pride.

Teddy will never be forgotten, his story will absolutely stay with me forever, and no doubt with others who have read it.

Elle, your strength knows no bounds, you are an inspiration. x