In a funk…

Yesterday I heard someone use the expression ” In a funk” and I thought how perfectly that sums me up perfectly right now.

I haven’t really been myself lately, I have things on my mind regarding a little health issue which I’ll be writing about soon, and I’ve noticed that I’ve really struggled with staying organised and on top of things. I’ve been absolutely terrible at getting back to people or just contacting them in the first place. If I’m honest everything feels like real effort at the moment and I haven’t been able to really explain what’s going on until I heard that phrase. That’s it, I’m in a funk!

I’m quite aware of my emotions and I know I’m not feeling depressed or overly anxious, I just feel a bit bleurgh and that’s OK because it’s only temporary. At the moment my mind is just a bit full up so when I need to try and make room for anything else it all seems like too much effort, but I know it wont stay like this forever and I will eventually clear my mind and then I’ll have enough room to continue with the normal things again, without feeling like they are bigger than they actually are.

I really want to write more, engage more with my Instagram followers and the people I follow, I want to engage more with people in my life and get on top of things again but right now even making a cup of coffee is enough to make me say “Eurgh, can I be bothered?” but that’s life and that’s honesty. I’m a lover of lists anyway but really feel it’s helpful to write myself a To Do list when I’m feeling like this so I can have a clear overview of the things that need to be done and to see the list get smaller as I tick things off .
We don’t all zoom around the place all day every day being the best versions of ourselves and making everything pretty, and when we see other’s doing so it can make us feel really rubbish about ourselves which only leads to making us feel even worse. It’s so easy to give yourself a hard time for not feeling 100%, wondering what people will think and wondering why you aren’t feeling your best, but take a step back and look at the contributing factors, a lot of the time we have things on our mind which are having an impact on our moods but we aren’t even realising it or perhaps you don’t think that it’s enough to warrant feeling the way you do but it’s so important to be kinder to ourselves and allow ourselves to just feel what we are feeling. As always, it’s OK that the feeling is there, it’s just how we deal with it that’s really important.

So I’ve decided that I’m not going to be too hard on myself, I’m going to take things step by step to get myself back to normal and focus on some self care. I’ve got myself a subscription to Headspace for a while and I’ve also ordered myself some Spacemasks as I’ve heard nothing but good things about them, just little things to give me some time to myself. I’m a bit of an introvert anyway so naturally I need that down time to recuperate. As well as having things on my mind, I have a toddler now and we all know how unreasonable they can be with their random tantrums and those afternoons where they want to do nothing but hang off you and whinge, I’m not sleeping very well and my hay fever means I have a headache every single day, it’s no wonder I’m feeling a little bit like Eeyore.

For now, I’m going to accept that I’m just in a bit of a funk and that’s all it is, I don’t feel terrible, I don’t feel at my worst, this isn’t my forever and it isn’t going to consume me. We’re only human and it’s OK to be in a funk.